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Funny
"
1066 Funny Quotes
Kinky Friedman
Beauty
Eye
Holder
Bear
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Not just charity, even corruption begins at home.
K Hari Kumar
Just
Charity
Corruption
Home
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I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. Wodehouse
Advise
Advice
Never
I
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I can't spend my whole day talking to people.
Salvador Allende
Spend
Day
People
Talking
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I belong to everybody, and I belong to nobody.
Muhammadu Buhari
Belong
Everybody
Nobody
I
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Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
Laughter
People
Distance
Two
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Vinnie Paz
Lucifer
God
Public school
System
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Just Because You don’t like me doesn’t mean one day i will suffer and need you. Life is not a nigerian movie
Fella Makafui
Like me
Suffer
Nigerian movie
Life
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If you make too many things too public, then you end up living your life before the court of public opinion.
Farrah gray
End up
Public
Public opinion
Many things
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Naira Marley
Solution
Problem
You
All
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Elon Musk
Common goal
Humanity
Fight
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Shehu Sani
Father
Bad luck
Lazy
Will of God
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Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra
Worst
Love
Enemy
Alcohol
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Modern paintings are like women, you'll never enjoy them if you try to understand them.
Freddie Mercury
Understand
Modern
Enjoy
Painting
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Christianity is free, But you must buy Bible.
Pidgin Sayings
Bible
Christianity
Free
Buy
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Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
Lewis Grizzard
Sex
Enjoy
Same
Woman
Favorite
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg
Hook
Later
Dream
Follow
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The only person that reads the terms & conditions is the one who writes it.
Pete Edochie
Person
Read
Term
Condition
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Pete Edochie
Horny
Girls
Nipple
Diamond
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No matter how dark a room is, a man would always find his way to a woman’s breast.
Pete Edochie
Dark
Man
Find
Room
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
Drink
Mirror
Front
Watch
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If it weren't for the fact that all of us are slightly abnormal there wouldn't be any point in giving each person a separate name.
Ugo Betti
Fact
Separate
Point
Abnormal
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Zach Anner
Internet
The
Crazy
Love
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The only two characters I can play convincingly are myself and a dumber and sweeter version of myself.
Zach Anner
Myself
Sweeter
Play
Dumber
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I was basically the person at Disney World that was in charge of clearing the park when it was closed... I was the guy... telling them to 'get the hell out and have a magical day.
Zach Anner
Magical
Basically
Disney
World
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If I'm not interested in a woman, I'm straight-forward. Right after sex, I usually say, 'I can't do this anymore. Thanks for coming over!'
Vince Vaughn
Woman
Sex
Right
Anymore
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
Difference
Stupidity
Genius
Limits
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We are not makers of history. We are made by history.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
History
Makers
Made
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Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.
Betty White
Ugly
Beauty
Sleep
Least
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The man who says he can, and the man who says he can't… Are both correct.
Confucius
Man
Correct
Says
Who
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If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake.
Confucius
Mistake
Correct
Called
You
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From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!
Dr. Seuss
Funny
Here
Everywhere
Things
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Everything stinks until it’s finished.
Dr. Seuss
Stinks
Finished
Everything
Until
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Yogi Berra
Most
Never
Said
Things
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You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Yogi Berra
Because
Better
Cut
Eat
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The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.
William Shakespeare
Wise
Fools
Pity
Speak
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We all know that Nigerian jollof rice is the best anywhere. We beat the Ghanaians and Senegalese hands down.
Yemi Osinbajo
Anywhere
Beat
Best
Down
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
God
War
American
Learn
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In Africa, the only warning they take seriously is ‘low battery’.
Robert Mugabe
Africa
Only
Warning
Low
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Zimbabweans, let us respect pregnant women for it is not easy to carry around evidence of sex in public.
Robert Mugabe
Respect
Pregnant
Easy
Women
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We are living in a generation where people ‘in love’ are free to touch each other’s private parts, but are not allowed to touch each other’s phones because they are private.
Robert Mugabe
Private
Part
Phone
Because
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Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.
Robert Mugabe
Bed
Good
Extremely
Broke
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The only thing that scares me about marriage is that you have to wake up earlier on the wedding day.
Robert Mugabe
Wedding
Day
Wake
Early
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No matter how men shake their ‘thing’ after urinating, the last drop is always reserved for the boxers.
Robert Mugabe
Boxers
Reserve
Always
Drop
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Ladies, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you†only when it’s cold or raining....you are neither an umbrella nor a jacket.
Robert Mugabe
Jacket
Umbrella
Neither
Rain
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Kenyans are good runners because corruption is always chasing them.
Robert Mugabe
Chase
Chasing
Always
Corruption
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We are all born mad, but some decides to remain so.
Robert Mugabe
Born
Mad
Some
Decide
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The size of a socialite’s backside is indirectly proportional to the size of her brain.
Robert Mugabe
Size
Brain
Backside
Back
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Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the devil always comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.
Robert Mugabe
Girlfriend
Whenever
Things
Seem
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I stopped trusting women when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy, all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.
Robert Mugabe
Stop
Stopped
Women
Class
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