I always advise people never to give advice.

P. G. Wodehouse

Advise Advice Never I

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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

P. G. Wodehouse

Surer Foundation Beautiful Friendship

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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

P. G. Wodehouse

She Brains Enough Quantity

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The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

P. G. Wodehouse

Voice Love Seemed Call

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It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

P. G. Wodehouse

Good Rule Apologize Sort

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He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

P. G. Wodehouse

Drunk Cup Life Dead

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Everything in life thatâ€™s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

P. G. Wodehouse

Everthing Life Fun Wisely

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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

P. G. Wodehouse

Melacholy Man Appearnace Searched

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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

P. G. Wodehouse

Dislike Air Grievances Wish

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Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

P. G. Wodehouse

Unseen Background Fate Quietly

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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.

P. G. Wodehouse

Parties Cough Twice Speak

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I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

P. G. Wodehouse

I Good Noble Hero

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Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

P. G. Wodehouse

Marriage Process Prolonging Life

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If he had a mind, there was something on it.

P. G. Wodehouse

Mind Had Something

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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

P. G. Wodehouse

Grow Realize Clearly Limitation

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She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.

P. G. Wodehouse

Looked Attitude Suggest Finished

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What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

P. G. Wodehouse

Use Great City Temptation

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It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

P. G. Wodehouse

Iron Switch-off Circumstance Demanad

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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.

P. G. Wodehouse

Pressed Down Accelerator Old

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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurantâ€”better left unstirred.

P. G. Wodehouse

Mind Soup Poor Restaurant

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Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.

P. G. Wodehouse

Well Limit Sacred Claim

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She had more curves than a scenic railway

P. G. Wodehouse

She More Curve Scenic

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Employers are like horses â€” they require management.

P. G. Wodehouse

Employers Like Horses Management

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An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

P. G. Wodehouse

Apple Day Aimed Keeps

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You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

P. G. Wodehouse

One Leaving Party Great

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You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.

P. G. Wodehouse

Successful Dictator Design Women's-underclothing

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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

P. G. Wodehouse

Find Character Play Man

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Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

P. G. Wodehouse

Drama critic Daytime Come Dark

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I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

P. G. Wodehouse

Spent Afternoon Musing Life

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It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.

P. G. Wodehouse

Bungled Crime Brings Remorse

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No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

P. G. Wodehouse

Dislike Punished Unjustly Person

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The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.

P. G. Wodehouse

Ideas Debtor Creditorconstitutes Good

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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem that we men can never hope to solve.

P. G. Wodehouse

Woman Unfathomable Incalculable Mystery

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When you're alone you don't do much laughing.

P. G. Wodehouse

You're Alone Much Laughingac

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When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

P. G. Wodehouse

Told Girl Love Betrothed

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Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

P. G. Wodehouse

Pupils Once Salvation Despair

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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

P. G. Wodehouse

Ssound Background Sheep Gently

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This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

P. G. Wodehouse

Peculiarly Age May Search

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Every author really wants to have letters printed in the paper. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

P. G. Wodehouse

Author Really Letters Printed

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One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.

P. G. Wodehouse

Prefers Occasion Stainless Reproach

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"40 P. G. Wodehouse Quotes & Sayings

I always advise people never to give advice.

P. G. Wodehouse

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

P. G. Wodehouse

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

P. G. Wodehouse

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

P. G. Wodehouse

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

P. G. Wodehouse

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

P. G. Wodehouse

Everything in life thatâ€™s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

P. G. Wodehouse

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

P. G. Wodehouse

It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

P. G. Wodehouse

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

P. G. Wodehouse

She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurantâ€”better left unstirred.

P. G. Wodehouse

Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

Employers are like horses â€” they require management.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

P. G. Wodehouse

You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.

P. G. Wodehouse

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

P. G. Wodehouse

Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

P. G. Wodehouse

I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

P. G. Wodehouse

It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.

P. G. Wodehouse

No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

P. G. Wodehouse

The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.

P. G. Wodehouse

Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem that we men can never hope to solve.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

P. G. Wodehouse

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

P. G. Wodehouse

There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

P. G. Wodehouse

This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

P. G. Wodehouse

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the paper. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

P. G. Wodehouse

One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.

P. G. Wodehouse

P. G. Wodehouse Quotes & Sayings

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