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2431 Comedian Quotes

I'm going to try to not let anyone put me in a box, and that certainly applies to the things I do outside of acting.

Acting Anyone Box Certainly
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I used to read a lot about myself and the projects I was doing. When I was only acting, I wouldn't read any reviews because I didn't find them to be very helpful.

About Acting Any Because
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Reviews about film acting are very... tricky, because movies are such a collaborative thing.

About Acting Because Collaborative
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In the end, I do have a group of friends and teachers whose opinions I respect, and so I guess I just have to be content with their feedback.

Content End Feedback Friends
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Because acting was my only professional outlet, I put a ton of pressure on the roles that I did. I overstepped my bounds, I tried to control things that were out of my purview as an actor and in some cases even tried to direct my scenes because I felt I knew how they should run rather than trust the director.

Acting Actor Because Bounds
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I don't cast somebody that I think is like my younger self.
Cast I Think Like Self
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My job is what I love. I don't need an escape from it.

Escape I Love Job Love
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I might have to stumble a little bit more in public than others, but that's fine, I don't mind, I've developed a thick skin.

Bit Developed Fine Little
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I acted professionally for about eight years, and I was writing all that time but never showed anybody any of it. There just came a point after those eight years when I thought, 'There's a lot I can do with acting - there are a lot of things I can express and do creatively, but there are also limitations.'

About Acted Acting After
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When I started writing after my career as an actor, I knew that that other life in the film industry would be pulled into my writing life and that people would see me not as an author but as an actor starting to write.

Actor After Author Career
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I guess what I enjoy most is directing, because it incorporates all aspects of filmmaking. Directing is in the same line as acting - both are popularity contests, and in both you're trying to tell a story through the film as a medium.

Acting Aspects Because Both
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My favorite role ever was Alien in 'Spring Breakers'.

Alien Ever Favorite Role
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I view filmmaking as a director's medium.

Director Filmmaking Medium View
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Directing, editing, and everything about filmmaking has definitely changed me as an actor.

About Actor Changed Definitely
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When I sign on for a project, I'm there to give the director all the material he or she might need to tell their story, and that's the number one priority.

Director Give He He Or She
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I love to bring humour into my work. Because comedy is not a huge part of the art world. And big-business film takes itself very seriously.

Art Art World Because Bring
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School allowed me to have outlets so that some of the pressure was taken off the acting. Every role in every movie, I used to live or die by. Once I had these new outlets, I relaxed a lot more.

Acting Allowed Die Every
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.

Also Around Complimentary Everyone
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Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don't think there's anything I can do to stop it.

About Anything Avalanche Everything
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I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
Anymore Life Live Living
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.

Almost Because Beyond Clearly
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Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem!

American Consistently Data Facts
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I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.

Am Problem Therefore Woman
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It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.

Actually Better Demand Democrats
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One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.

Bought Farm First Iowa
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I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty.

Am Favor Guilty Return
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Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought.

America Both Bought Cannot
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The real truth is, I just want to keep the voice of dissent alive in all of our elections. I don't really want to hang out with politicians.
Alive Dissent Elections Hang
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I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.

Ask Comics Offer Only
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You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it.
Anybody Break Doing Hollywood
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I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

Become Me Politician President
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There is no real third party in America. There's this one party that has two sides to it - the Democratic and Republican side. It's one party that has two heads.

America Democratic Heads Party
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

Able Find Good Joke
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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.

About Adult Bankrupt Cheese
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The American people are sick and tired of this 'lesser evil' garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they're in office.

American Both Democrats Election
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After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.

Act After Appearance Hollywood
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.

Business Form Imitation Show
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Nothing real or truthful makes its way to TV unless you are smart and know how to sneak it in, and I would tell you how I did it, but then I would have to kill you.

Did How Know Makes
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I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

Biology Bothered Enjoying Great
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You can always get better. Nobody can stop you from getting better, and nobody can stop you from trying to make something right.
Always Better Get Getting
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

Always Because Could Perform
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You kind of restructure your whole personality to be in a healthy relationship.

Healthy Kind Personality Relationship
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I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.

About Cool Dinner Earning
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.

Calm Find How Know
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To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.

About Because Discipline Great
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And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

Funny Humor Kept Know
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I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

Anything Because Domestic Fun
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My real life is funnier than anything on TV.

Anything Funnier Life Real
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.

All Art Comedy Form
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.

Cause Deep Effect How
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