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2431 Comedian Quotes

I think that we, as the African-American men in hip-hop, we have a greater responsibly because we have the ears of so many millions of our young people. And they listenin'.

African-American Because Ear Greater
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My calling is to help people, to teach people, to share with people, until I die. I can never stop doing that. I can't, and I don't want to.

Calling Die Doing Help
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My marriage to Marjorie is the most rewarding thing that ever happened to me. She gave me a life and a relationship that I didn't know existed.

Ever Existed Gave Happened
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All men can and will change. But there's only one woman we're going to change for.

Change Going Men Only
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From the time I was taught how to drive, I was taught how to behave when I'm stopped.

Behave Drive How Stopped
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When you're happy at home, you can make a lot of things happen.
Happen Happy Home Lot
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I got married for the wrong reasons. I was tired of being alone. I have to own that. It was me, not her.

Alone Being Being Alone Got
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You can't go forward and backwards at the same time.

Backwards Forward Go Same
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I pay attention to every minute of the day.
Attention Day Every Minute
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You've got to be vulnerable when you're talking to kids. There's nothing worse than some adult standing up there just talking down to some kid. You can't work that way.

Adult Down Got Just
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I never in my life saw myself as a game show host. I don't want to be a traffic cop.

Cop Game Game Show Host
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As always, whenever I'm contacted by the White House, I'm just humbled.

Always House Humbled Just
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I take my brand very seriously.
Brand Seriously Take Very
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I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.

Being Being Funny Butter Everything
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I won an amateur night, October 8th, 1985. I went to work the next day and quit my job.

Amateur Day Job Next
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I think if someone gets kicked in the face it is their fault - they watched the foot come towards their face.

Think Someone Gets Kicked
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A reputation as a hard worker is a good reputation to have.

Reputation As Hard Worker
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I'm not the most attractive fella. I'm not a Billy Dee Williams. Personality is everything.

Not Most Attractive Fella
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Because I'm small, I've been called things from 'Happy Feet' to 'Little Face.'

Because Small Been Called
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My dad was never married. He was kind of a rolling stone. But he was never disrespectful. At the same time, even though he had women in his life when I was a kid, there wasn't any consistency.

Dad Was Never Married
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No man wants to settle down. It happens. Eventually you're going to bump into somebody that makes you go, 'Hmm, I don't mind seeing this person every day.'

No Man Wants Settle
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I've done auditions where the casting director is taking the paper out of my hand in the middle of reading.

Done Auditions Where Casting
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Laughter heals all wounds, and that's one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you're going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.

Laughter Heals All Wound
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I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes easy. It's definitely a gift and for which I'm thankful.

Understand Being Able Appeal
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I'm a whopping 5 foot 4 inches tall. I'm not going to get any taller.

I'm Whooping Foot Inches
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I am who I am. That's why my friends and peers respect and appreciate me. I don't change or cater my actions to fit my surroundings. I'm myself 24/7. People appreciate that.

Am Who That's Why
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I can honestly say, after talking about my mom passing away, I got the biggest weight off of my chest. Comedy is my therapy. That's how I deal with my problems, my personal battles. I talk about it. I give it to my fans. When they laugh at it, it's a release, for lack of a better word.

Honestly Say After Talking
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I don't take pictures when I'm with my kids, for the sake of my kids. It's important when you're as busy as I am that you give your kids your time when you're with them, and nothing compromises that. I've been lucky enough to have fans that understand that.

Take Pictures When Kid
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I am capable of holding the quote-unquote 'title' of leading man. Leading man just means people want to see you and assume that you can hold a film, carry a movie.

Capable Holding Quote Unquote
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When you have box-office results, Hollywood treats you different. Hollywood stands up. Once you get to the point where Hollywood sees that you create results, then the demand for you becomes higher.

When Hollywood Box-office Results
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I'm never gonna step away from stand-up. I can't. That's what got me where I am, and that's also my muse. That's how I stay level-headed. That's what keeps me going.

Never Standup Step Away
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On 'Think Like a Man,' they got the best out of me because they allowed me to bring my own cadences and opinions to the character that I was playing. I think we got the best of that particular character.

Think Like Man Best
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For me, it's about becoming a mogul, owning my own projects, and establishing myself as a funding producer. That's what's big to me. The movies and all that stuff are great, but the fact that I'm in a position to do what I want to do, however I want to do it and when I want to do it is bigger.

Becoming About Mogul Owning
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Every relationship should eventually become a long-term relationship. Any director that I meet now isn't just a director. He's potentially a friend, and someone I can call to do a project that I want or that I have.

Every Relationship Should Eventually
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Whatever is on the page is what I'm married to. I'm very prepared. I'm a thespian. I don't like to improv. I don't like to go off course 'cause I think that's where stuff happens. When you stick to the material 'cause it's written so well, that's where the magic happens.

Whatever Page Married Very
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I love being on stage, I love being able to tell a story, I love the fact that the audience listens and laughs at it. It makes me happy, and it's what I live for.

Love Being Stage Able
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When you're coming up with new material, it's not always gonna be good. The only way to learn is for it not to get a laugh, so you can adjust it and come back the next day to see if it's working right. Next time, you might get a different laugh. You're constantly rebuilding.

When New Coming Material
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I love soft-cotton white T-shirts.

Love Soft Cotton White
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I'm happy about working; I'm happy about gracing the stage and coming out and making people laugh. I never treat it like a job or feel that way. It's the best thing ever to me, and I feel like a kid in a candy store.

Happy About Working Happy
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The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience.

Two Things World Share
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Comedy's about opening up and being unique, but to a point where the audience can relate to what you're saying.

Comedy's About Opening Being
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I'm a businessman as well as an entertainer. The reason why is because I want to own whatever I'm doing. I don't want to work for other people forever.

Businessman As Well Entertainer
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When people get married young, you don't really understand the true definition of marriage.

When People Get Married
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Stand-up comedy is mine: it's my entity; it's my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.

Stand-up Comedy Mine Entity
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My kids are coming up in a different time then me. Interracial couples are of the norm. With me, it's about making sure my kids understand the importance of education and having opportunities that I didn't. My goal as a parent is to make sure they don't take what they have for granted.

Kids Coming Up Different
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I got a chance to work with Stallone and De Niro - pretty much sums it up for me. You can tell where you're going in your career by the company you keep.

Got Chance Work With
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Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh.

Everything Funny Yes Positive
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People don't want drama 365 days a year. I'm a sense of relief; it's my job to take your mind off what's bad for that brief second you're in the room with me, regardless of shape, race, colour or anything. It brings people together, and it makes me feel good about what I'm doing.

People Don't Drama Days
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I'm trying to do what Eddie Murphy did for his generation. You have to show people, 'I'm different. I'm not just a comedian.' I'm trying to become a rock star.

Trying To Do What
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It's very rare that you get a director that lets you be creative and bring what you feel your character should do or should be.

Very Rare That Get
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