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2431 Comedian Quotes

Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.

Wounds turn Scars Make you Tough
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I'm sure you can imagine it's pretty frustrating to have people talking about your private life who don't know anything about it.

Can imagine Pretty frustrating Have people Your private
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Marriage is a blood sport. Marriage is jousting. It's disembowelment. It's just terrible, terrible visceral injuries. It's not for everybody

Marriage Blood sport Jousting.disembowelment Terrible
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I'm surrounded by geniuses, which is really not good for my own personal self-esteem!

Surrounded By genius Personal Self esteem
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I am constantly re-evaluating my goals and trying to strike items from my to-do list that aren't critical.

Constantly Re-evaluating My goals Strike items
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Everybody has those stories that make them wince when they think about them silently. But as soon as you tell that story, it becomes a little bit less cringe-inducing.

Everyone Stories Think about Silently
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Success is not the absence of failure; it's the persistence through failure.

Success Absence Failure Persistence
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I can't say that there's been some big change during my career where all of a sudden everything's totally colorblind.

Big change My career Everything's totally Colorblind
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I married my husband because I loved him, and I don't feel like there's anybody missing from our marriage, but when you think about this person that you love, and you think about what a wonderful thing it would be to bring another person like that into this world, I think that's the hardest part about all of it.

Married My husband Loved him Missing
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I am black, and there's no getting around that, but being black doesn't define every aspect of my life.

Am black Getting around Define Every aspect
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Marriage is a mystery, and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.

Marriage Mystery Being kind Selfish
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I believe in hard work. I think that everything flows out of that.

I believe Hard work Everything flows
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I used to worry that if I wasn't having a dynamic life, then I wouldn't have anything to talk about.

Worry Having Dynamic life Have anything
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I think the thing I fear most in life is waking up one day and not feeling challenge - feeling ambivalent or glib about what I have to do that day.

Fear most In life Waking up Feeling challenge
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For someone to say that marriage is only about procreation is a joke. I didn't marry my husband to have children. I married my husband because I love my husband.
Marriage About procreation A joke My husband
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I believe that the essence of marriage is choosing someone who loves you for who you are, embraces everything about you, and building a life with that person. Whether that life is with children or without children - it's honestly immaterial to building a life with someone that you love fully.

Believe The essence Marriage Choosing someone
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I really love being busy because I am - feel like I am at my best when I am busy.

Really love Being busy My best
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When you catch a thief, waste no time in accusing him lest he accuses you first

Thief Waste no time Accuse First
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Pikin wey too dey like elders food, e no dey tey e go chop poison

Pikin Dey Elders food Chop poison
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It doesn't matter will matter not matter

Matter Doesn't matter
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It is unfortunate for those who only see the bad character roles.

Character Roles Unfortunate Only see
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You have a lot of optimism when you are young.

You Optimism Young
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I had a marriage that I came to in the same way everybody else comes to a marriage. We all take chances when we get married.

Marriage Everybody Chances Married
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I think I'm just like a lot of people who had nothing. We had to amuse ourselves, so we had to become amusing.

I Think People Nothing
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There's less critical thinking going on in this country on a Main Street level - forget about the media - than ever before. We've never needed people to think more critically than now, and they've taken a big nap.

Critical Thinking Country Street
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When you're with someone, you want everything to be great. And that's the pressure that you put on, and what you just can't do.

Someone Want Great Pressure
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Everybody I've ever worked with - 99.9 percent of the time, I've had a successful or very agreeable experience with.

Everybody Worked Successsful Experience
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Success begets success. I've been offered a lot of movies now that '30 Rock' has been successful.

Success Movies Rock
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I'm not an awards-driven person in anything. Anytime you do get caught up in that, you usually end up getting whacked.

Awards Driven Person Whacked
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I don't need to be married to Georgia O'Keeffe or Lillian Hellman, but I like being with a woman I can look up to.

Need Married Georgia Woman
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Marriage changes things because there's a lot more at stake. You can't get too toxic because you have to live together. No one can reach for the nuclear button too quickly.
Marriage Changes Stake Toxic
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I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

I think Good A person Spend time
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Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Don't leave Piece Jewelry Go back
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Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

Books Challenging Inspirational
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People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
People Who shop Health food Never look
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But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.

Always like Play Ugly people Think
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I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.

I feel So free Open.ideas Get inspired
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Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

Sometimes losing Pet More painful A human
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

There's humor In everything
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If the artworks were owned or celebrate slavery or slave owners, they should be withdrawn from the museums

The artworks Were owned Celebrate slavery Withdrawn
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All you need to do is starve your distractions and feed your focus.

You need Starve Your distractions Feed
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The dreams you had last night can only come to reality if you get up and work at achieving them today

The dream Last night Only come To reality
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Every morning is an important milestone for the next thing to achieve. So don’t waste any more time, get out.

Every morning Important milestone Next thing Achieve
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The moment i knew that we shall all not leave this world alive, I learnt not to take life too seriously.

The moment We shall Not leave World alive
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My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion,

My mission In life To survive To thrive
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Happiness is not something ready made.
Happiness Something Ready made
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Building strong brand awareness and loyalty is vital to the success of any business.

Building Strong brand Awareness Loyalty
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The new ideas running in my head as kept me awake all night. Success doesn’t happen by accident.

New ideas Running My head Awake
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You can’t build a great business, achieve a massive goal or rise to the top of your profession only with luck.

Build Great business Achieve Massive goal
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The only cure for struggle is to hustle.

Only cure For struggle To hustle
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