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"1066 Funny Quotes

Too many debits i cant remember my account number anymore.

Many debts Can't remember Account number
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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Pleasure Having Nothing Do
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I could drink the river dry and still die of thirst

Drink The river dry Die Thirst
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My phone has refused to recognize my face,Just because I'm wearing a mask.

My phone Has refused Recognize My face
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The only way to have Goodluck is to embrace Patience. Stay Safe.

Only way Have Good luck To embrace
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In Igbo cosmology,your destiny is etched on your palm.At the rate we are washing our hands I hope we won't wash our destinies away
Cosmology Your destiny Your palm Washing
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So, there is no shortage of land to bury us, but there is no land to build decent homes for the poor black people so that they too can have physical distancing

No shortage Land Bury us Build decent
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The different sorts of madness are innumerable.

Different sorts Madness Innumerable
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COVID 19 is real .So i met a huge fan of mine and out of excitement he said, covid 19 is real,but "papilo is realer", I love him.

Huge fan Excitement Is real Is realer
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Worry not, all will surely be fine. Laugh when you get a cold drink without Nepa giving you light,but there must be a way to enjoy.

Worry not Laugh Cold drink You light
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Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Stop worry The world Ending today Already tomorrow
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Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Exercise Dirty word Hear it Wash
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Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.

Happiness Waking up The clock Still have
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If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

The opportunity A gift Next generation The ability
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I fart. My backstage ritual is flatulence.

I fart Backstage Ritual Flatulence
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The only time a wife listens to her husband is when he’s asleep.

Only time Wife listen Her husband He's asleep
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High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

High heels Invented A woman Been kissed
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The trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock.

The trouble With wedlock Enough wed Much lock
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No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.

No man Is lonely Eating spaghetti It requires
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Only the aspirants for president are fool enough to believe what they read in the newspapers.

The aspirants For president Fool enough To believe
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I have worked hard for 38 years to stay in power and enrich my family. Take ONE vacation, and people assume I am dead!

Worked hard To stay In power Enrich
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It is a sad day for all of Africa's strong leaders when one of our own forgets to rig an election.

Sad day Strong leaders Own forgets Rig
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If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

Giving people They like I'll turn Into one
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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Like football An exciting Strategic game Great way
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Rich people love Art. These days i find myself loving Art, Lord if this is a sign please signal no more, I’m ready Lord use me, i’m User Friendly.

Rich people Love art Find myself Lord
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Whenever they release us, can we agree to say Happy new year to each other and start the year afresh?

Whenever Release us Say happy New year
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You cannot confuse me because am already confuse

Confuse me Cannot You
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Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.

Sometimes The sins Haven't committed Have left
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You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

You Teach Somebody Funny
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor Based on Modicum Of truth
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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

Recent Study Shot Run
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Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Accomplishing The impossible The boss Regular duties
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

If people Concentrated on Important things In life
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If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

English language Any sense Lackadaisical A shortage
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Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three-and paradise is when you have none.

Utility One telephone Luxury Have two
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

The trouble Learning From experience Never graduate
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Don't say 'the White House wants.' Buildings can't want.

Don't say White house Wants Buildings
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Many times when we were young, and were caught in mischief, we would snitch on others.

Many times Were young In mischief
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You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don’t understand.

An adult Tall child Holding A beer
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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits

Money You love Really good Chocolate
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You've got to find some way of saying it without saying it.

You've got Some way Saying it
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Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

Not everyone Who drinks A poet
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I still can't spell anything, but I can bust out two-dollar words.

Spell anything Bust out Words
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Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it.

Some people Fond of Ill luck Run halfway
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Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be.

Men Good looking Never good In bed
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Remember, no matter what life throws at us, we can always bake a cake!

Remember No matter Life Can always
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Legislation won't necessarily start a riot. But the right song can make someone pick up a chair.

Legislation Necessarily start A riot Right song
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That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.

Still feel Accurate description Felt homesick Was home
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I hate that word, mature, but I guess I am growing up.

In hate Word Mature Growing up
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If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.

Something Shocking Funny Justify
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