Menu

 Authors
A B C D E F
G H I J K L
M N O P Q R
S T U V W S
Y Z
Get Socialize
My Account
Make Free Wallpaper

" Quotes and Sayings About d

Bombs do not choose. They will hit everything.

Bombs Choose Everything Hit
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I once said, 'We will bury you,' and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.

Bury Class Course Got
  Favorite Make wallpaper

If you start throwing hedgehogs under me, I shall throw a couple of porcupines under you.

Couple Me Shall Start
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I want to talk to these people because they stay in power and you change all the time.

Because Change People Power
  Favorite Make wallpaper

All the sparrows on the rooftops are crying about the fact that the most imperialist nation that is supporting the colonial regime in the colonies is the United States of America.

About America Colonial Colonies
  Favorite Make wallpaper

What innocence, may I ask, is being played here when it is known that this virtuous damsel has already got a dozen illegitimate children?

Ask Being Children Dozen
  Favorite Make wallpaper

They pay little attention to what we say and prefer to read tea leaves.

Attention Leaves Little Little Attention
  Favorite Make wallpaper

The press is our chief ideological weapon.

Chief Ideological Our Press
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder.

Call Get Harder Incentives
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Revolutions are not made for export.

Export For Made Revolutions
  Favorite Make wallpaper

In a fight you don't stop to choose your cudgels.

Choose Fight Stop You
  Favorite Make wallpaper

When you are skinning your customers, you should leave some skin on to heal, so that you can skin them again.

Again Customers Heal Leave
  Favorite Make wallpaper

The more bombers, the less room for doves of peace.

Doves Less More Peace
  Favorite Make wallpaper

If you cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.

Better Bird Cannot Catch
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Economics is a subject that does not greatly respect one's wishes.

Does Economics Greatly Respect
  Favorite Make wallpaper

But life is a great school. It thrashes and bangs and teaches you.

Bangs Great Life Life Is A
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.

Bridges Build Even Over
  Favorite Make wallpaper

The purpose of the United Nations should be to protect the essential sovereignty of nations, large and small.

Essential Large Nations Protect
  Favorite Make wallpaper

If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.

Better Bird Cannot Catch
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

Another Bad Bad Breath Balloon
  Favorite Make wallpaper
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
Computer Honest Laugh More
  Favorite Make wallpaper
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
Am Buy Everything Good
  Favorite Make wallpaper

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Because Disposal Garbage Out
  Favorite Make wallpaper

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

Dangerous Driver Drunk He
  Favorite Make wallpaper
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
Fat Spoon Tell Then
  Favorite Make wallpaper

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Candy Garbage Give Give Me
  Favorite Make wallpaper
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
Because Camera Digital Great
  Favorite Make wallpaper

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Attack Game Heart Time
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Yoo baby girl don't let good sex confuse your heart and make you think you are in love.

Baby girl Sex Confuse Heart
  Favorite Make wallpaper
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
Guess Said Saw T-Shirt
  Favorite Make wallpaper

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

Comfortable Gets Less Like
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

Am Else Guy He
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Both Employee Example Good
  Favorite Make wallpaper

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Fat Friend Only You
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

Actual Asked Clothing Lady
  Favorite Make wallpaper
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
Bee Bird Child Door
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

Ever Nothing Printed Wise
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.

About Catching Feeling Happen
  Favorite Make wallpaper

But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up.

Actor Because Comedy Doing
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

I Love Ideas Jokes Love
  Favorite Make wallpaper
The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Audience Doing Feedback Front
  Favorite Make wallpaper

No one is coming to defeat this virus for us. Instead, the defeat of the virus in our country will be in our hands, alone.

Virus Defeat Country Hands
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.

About Across Around Come
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I hated singing. I wanted to be an actress. But I don't think I'd have made it any other way.

Actress Any AnyOtherWay Hated
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I just don't want to be hampered by my own limitations.

Just Limitations MyOwn Own
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I knew that with a mouth like mine, I just hadda be a star or something.

Just Knew Like Mine
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I wish I could be like Shaw who once read a bad review of one of his plays, called the critic and said: 'I have your review in front of me and soon it will be behind me.'

Bad BadReview Behind Could
  Favorite Make wallpaper
I'm not that ambitious any more. I just like my privacy. I wish I really wasn't talked about at all.
About Ambitious Any IWish
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I'm tired of malicious articles slandering me.

Articles Malicious Me Tired
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I've considered having my nose fixed. But I didn't trust anyone enough. If I could do it myself with a mirror.

Anyone Considered Could Enough
  Favorite Make wallpaper