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2431 Comedian Quotes

There's like ten minutes when it's like, 'Okay, wait, who is this guy again?' And then, you know, I just put on the calculator watch and the glasses, and just be all, you know, inappropriate. And then it just works out fine.

Again Calculator Fine Glasses
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Well, Dwight was born to be No. 2 and I don't think he would know what to do as a leader. But he loves following. He would have made a great fascist.

Born Fascist Following Great
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What's interesting is the show allows for the awkward pauses to be captured, which makes it stylistically unique, especially for American audiences.
American Audiences Awkward Captured
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I think definitely people know me from playing creeps and weirdos, and I'm definitely looking to expand my range.

Creeps Definitely Expand Know
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I started in theatre, and for me, it was all about transformation. You transform into the character that you're playing.
About Character Me Playing
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I found it very easy to transform into creeps and weirdos and losers and goof-balls, and I'm happy to play eccentric kinds of characters, and I have a great affinity for the outsider, but I definitely am about expanding my range as well.

About Affinity Am Characters
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I remember being unemployed and walking the East Village streets for many years, constantly checking my voice mail on pay phones, hoping for an audition.

Audition Being Checking Constantly
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My dad was always such a frustrated artist. He always worked very hard to support his family, doing a bunch of ridiculous jobs. He wanted to be a painter, but then he also wrote science-fiction novels in his spare time.

Also Always Artist Bunch
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I joined an acting class in my junior year in high school. I'd always wanted to try it.
Acting Always Class High
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Life is suffering. Life is not resistance to suffering. The point of life is to suffer. This is why we're here: We're here to suffer. I believe in a higher power that compassionately allows suffering for us as a race, to grow and mature.

Believe Grow Here Higher
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The great thing about 'The Office' and it being single-camera and the documentary style is that it's mostly a comedy, but 10 percent of it is, we get to show the existential angst that exists in the American workplace.

About American Angst Being
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Apparently 'The Office' plays in Brazil. Who would've thought that Brazilians would identify with a bunch of pasty white Scrantonians in a paper company? But the Brazilians I've met have really loved the show.

Apparently Brazil Bunch Company
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'SoulPancake' is a website that I founded with a couple of friends, and it is for exploring life's big questions.
Big Couple Exploring Founded
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I have an eight-year-old child, and I literally can't wrap my mind around the kind of grief that must be felt when you lose a child.

Around Child Felt Grief
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I am all for controlling guns
Am Controlling Guns
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I came to realize I did believe in God. I couldn't conceive of a universe without someone overseeing it in a compassionate way.

Believe Came Compassionate Conceive
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Some of the most morally conscious, kindest, most compassionate people are in the entertainment industry, people who want to affect the world and make it a better place through telling human, heartfelt stories.

Affect Better Compassionate Conscious
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So much about religion has to do with rigid, sacrosanct preciousness. I don't live my life that way, and I don't feel that's what Baha'u'llah teaches.

About Feel Life Live
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I like being a Baha'i who has an out-there sense of humor. God gives us talents and faculties, and making people laugh is one of mine.

Being Faculties Gives God
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I don't want to sound pretentious, but I love art, I like to go to museums, and I like to read books.
Art Books Go Like
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One thing I really want to do is - I spent ten years in New York doing theater before I moved to L.A. to do TV and film. I'd really like to go to back New York and do some theater.

Back Before Doing Film
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The bonds we create in the household are the most important and lasting. Savor them; they're sacred.

Bonds Create Household Important
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Singing and dancing is not just for the cast of 'Glee'. We can wake up doing both and have it be a natural expression of who we are.

Both Cast Dancing Doing
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In every decade rock and roll starts to get very serious and navel gazing and kind of self serious and every once and a while it kind of needs a kick in the pants.

Decade Every Gazing Get
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My body has been making women laugh for the last 20 years and I'm happy to continue to oblige.
Been Body Continue Happy
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My whole thing is I just always wanted to be a working actor and I just wanted to stop waiting tables.

Actor Always Just Stop
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Absolutely father knows best, always do what your fathers say, and if you can't find one then just ask me, I am a father and I know best.

Absolutely Always Am Ask
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We've seen that there are a lot of people out there - teenagers in Topeka, housewives in Long Island, millionaire Internet start-up moguls - that all want to connect with each other about what it is to be human.

About Connect Each Housewives
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His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad

Anyone Death Ever First
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I left home because I was hungry

Because Home Hungry Left
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Believe Build Destroy Here
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

Back Been Brings Chance
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Congress: Bingo with billions.

Billions Bingo Congress
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Music is universal too. Even deaf people like to dance, love rhythm, and can kind of pick it up.

Dance Deaf Even Kind
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any Ask Bedtime Kid
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God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

Being Children God Happiness
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

Few Forget Heartache Helps
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Collapse Course Exercise Friends
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.

Going Know Laugh Lock
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

About Find Make Married
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Ralph Waldo Emerson would definitely be my homeboy.

Definitely Ralph Would
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My brain is so anxiety-prone, like a pinball machine. If I don't get up in the morning and focus my thinking, my breathing, and my being for about 12 minutes, I'm just a screwball all day long.

About All Day Being Brain
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I think that charity is a tricky thing, because a lot of times, people equate charity with handouts. I don't believe in handouts.

Because Believe Charity Equate
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And I do believe that the way to change a society, to uplift people - not just their spirit, but to uplift their society and economic base - is through education.

Base Believe Change Economic
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The founder of the Mona Foundation actually knew my dad for years, and the more I learned about it, the more I realized I really found the perfect charity. It sponsors schools and educational initiatives all over the planet.

About Actually Charity Dad
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My dad wanted to name me after Rainier Maria Rilke, the poet.

After Dad Maria Me
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I was a total dork in high school.

Dork High School Total
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A guy may wear a suit and have a high-paying job and appear very mature, but essentially, he's a 14-year-old boy.

Appear Boy Essentially Guy
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You meet people in Hollywood that are famous, and you're not sure what they got famous for.
Famous Got Hollywood Meet
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I'm lucky to have a wife and a child that keep me grounded.

Child Grounded Keep Lucky
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