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2431 Comedian Quotes

You're here to sweat. This program is live. There's about one thousand million people watching you. So, you remember - one wrong word, one foolish gesture and your whole career could go down in flames.

About Career Could Down
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I enjoy being part of the entertainment industry, although I'm the laziest person that I've met yet in this business.
Although Being Business Enjoy
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People don't hassle me. It's always very friendly anywhere in the world.

Always Anywhere Friendly Hassle
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I'm not an aspiring young actor; I'm a storyteller who made it late in life, and I'm therefore an inspiration to everyone who thinks that, at 23, if you're not in the Backstreet Boys, then you're never gonna make it.

Actor Aspiring Boy Everyone
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There's a bit of truth in everything I do, you know.
Bit Everything Know Truth
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I'd never walked on snow 'til I was 50, you know. There's no snow where I come from.
Come Know Never Snow
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'Crocodile Dundee' is about people; it's 10 seconds about crocodiles.

About Crocodile People Seconds
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There are quite a few actors in the business who are much more difficult than kids or monkeys.

Actor Business Difficult Few
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Rich and famous is not bad, but poor and famous sucks.
Bad Famous Poor Rich
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I was flavour of the year for a couple of years, and then, like everyone else, I faded into obscurity. I didn't car;, I loved it.

Car Couple Else Everyone
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I don't like rehearsing.

Don't Like Rehearsing
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I'm the only person who's ever opened the Oscars or done a spot on the Oscars without a script and having it on autocue.

Done Ever Having Only
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It's got more cosmopolitan, and it's lost its uniqueness, but Australia is still a great place.

Australia Cosmopolitan Got Great
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I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet.

About Everybody First Generic
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It's insane but it's a great insane.

Great Insane
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Theater is the most enriching and thrilling thing to do as an actor.
Actor Enriching Most Theater
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I can, and do, walk the street. No one bothers me or anything, because most people wouldn't know who I am.

Am Anything Because Bothers
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I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.

Because Comedian Concern Consider
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I'm sure that my wanting to be an actor had to do with a need for approval.

Actor Approval Had Need
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Nothing is ever cut-and-dried. There's anguish behind everything.

Anguish Behind Ever Everything
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My parents were married my whole life until my father passed away a few years ago.

Away Father Few Life
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If someone made fun of me, I'd be bummed out. But I'd play it like I thought it was hilarious.
Fun Hilarious Like Made
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Fear is what makes comedy funny.

Comedy Fear Funny Makes
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Sometimes I think I'm funny. But then sometimes I see myself, and I think, 'There's somebody trying to be funny.'

Funny Myself See Somebody
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I have trouble with long-term things. I tend to get obsessed with stuff and then move on. Roles, songs, video games. That's why I was afraid of marriage. Because it was like a lifelong game of 'Madden.'

Afraid Because Game Games
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I love straight guys that seem gay. I'm a little like that.
Gay Guys Like Little
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I'm not good at small talk. I'm really not. I'm not that great at any talk.

Any Good Great Really
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When I was in my early twenties, I used to grow all sorts of very weird beards. All of them awful in retrospect. I had Civil War beards for a while, then Mennonite beards.

Awful Civil Early Grow
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I treasure laughs more than anything; they've helped me in life the most.
Anything Helped Laughs Life
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There's a lot of people I would be more than a little overwhelmed by and thrilled to work with.

Little Lot More Overwhelmed
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Anybody that's going on a road trip and doesn't really want to get into a myriad of snacks is probably no one you want to get in the car with.

Anybody Car Get Going
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I think there's something kind of good about growing up in a place you know is not the cool place to be. I think it's good for your head.

About Cool Good Growing
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I really tried for a while to go with the Adam Ant look.

Adam Ant Go Look
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Puberty hit me pretty hard. All of a sudden, I woke up, and I had really curly hair.

Curly Had Hair Hard
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I know a lot about the Titanic. My dad was a Titanic expert.

About Dad Expert Know
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I think most marriages, mine included, you're constantly tending the garden, constantly working at it.

Constantly Garden Included Marriages
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People have all different kinds of marriages. Whatever works for you.

Different Kinds Marriages People
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Whatever I'm working on, the character I'm playing tends to slowly bleed into my own real life. Not in any kind of creepy, Method actor-y kind of way - it's just an innate kind of merging.

Any Bleed Character Creepy
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I laugh much more during takes than I do during real life. Maybe because you're not supposed to. I've ruined many takes because I will lose it.

Because Laugh Life Lose
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I don't have an agenda where I do a comedy and say, 'I have to do a drama next,' or 'I am looking for an action movie now.'

Action Agenda Am Comedy
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I always try and hold to that saying, 'I want to work on things I'd want to see.' The vast majority, that's been true.

Always Been Hold Majority
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I am so appreciative I have been able to continue not only doing something I love, but working on movies I've loved.
Able Am Appreciative Been
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I'd like to do something dramatic or a different kind of role, but I tend not to separate comedy and drama all that much.

Comedy Different Drama Dramatic
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You can make a lot of mistakes with hair because it grows back.
Back Because Grows Hair
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I think I used comedy as a mechanism: if I could make the other kids laugh, I wouldn't get beaten up or teased as much.

Beaten Comedy Could Get
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I'm a huge David Wain fan. He's one of my best friends now, but he just makes me laugh continually, much to the annoyance of his wife.

Annoyance Best Continually David
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There's something great about the idea of working the land and living communally. That's healthy. That's good.
About Good Great Healthy
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There are so many really good comedians, and I would never be as good as they are. It's not my calling.

Calling Comedians Good Many
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A lot of people say, 'What's the worst part about being an actor?' And the worst part is that you're not a musician.

About Actor Being Lot
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I find many of the people that I've worked with to be incredibly funny.
Find Funny Incredibly Many
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