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2431 Comedian Quotes

In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.

Attention Behind Easy Focus
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Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.

Age Chance Down Dropping
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In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.

Agents Because Double Fat
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I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions.

Day Emotions First Idea
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All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
All My Friends Boyfriend Boyfriend Friends
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I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.

Bit Crossing Got Just
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Don't throw away a good man because he is always busy

Throw Good man Busy Away
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Everything is not solved by prayer. Don't be deceived.

Prayer Everything Deceived Solved
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If you are filthy and need a bath, pray from now till tomorrow, if you no baff, you go still dey smell.

Filthy Bath Pray Tomorrow
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Science should always be in the business of attempting to disprove itself.

Always Attempting Business Disprove
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The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.

Decide First FirstStep Getting
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Nothing happens by itself... it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.

Come Happens Itself Make
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So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin.

Because Begin Fail Get
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Jump into the middle of things, get your hands dirty, fall flat on your face, and then reach for the stars.

Dirty Face Fall Flat
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I don't like the sound of all the lists he's making.

He Like Lists Making
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It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions.
Amazing Notions Ordinary OrdinaryPeople
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Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over gain, and you will grow stronger until have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.

Accomplished Began Beginning Each
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You can do what you think you can do and you cannot do what you think you cannot.

Cannot Think You
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The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy.
Accomplish Achieve BeHappy Happy
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It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated... it is finished when it surrenders.

Defeat Defeated Enter Even
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Somewhere there is a map of how it can be done.

Done How Map Somewhere
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If you can't stand the heat, don't go to Cancun in the summer.

Go Heat Stand Summer
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Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.
Believing Faith God Knowing
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You cannot win if you're not at the table. You have to be where the action is.

Action Cannot Table Where
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The successful people of this world take life as it comes. They just go out and deal with the world as it is.

Deal Go Just Life
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Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.

Achievement Advancement Fertile Grows
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A corporation's responsibility is to the shareholders, not its retirees and employees. Companies are doing everything they can to get rid of pension plans and they will succeed.

Companies Corporation Doing Employees
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You must take the first step. The first steps will take some effort, maybe pain. But after that, everything that has to be done is real-life movement.

After Done Effort Everything
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The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

Decide First FirstStep Getting
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Sleep more at night. If it's allowed at work or home, take a nap in the afternoon. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel.
Afternoon Allowed Amazed Better
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When I seemed to be irritable or sad, my father would quote the learned Dr. Knight, and then say, 'Just go to sleep.' Like all smart aleck kids, I thought the advice was silly. But as I've grown older, I've realized just how smart Knight was.

Advice Dr Father Go
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We are not supposed to be all equal. Let's just forget that. We are supposed to have equal rights under law. If we do that, we have done enough.

Done Enough Equal EqualRights
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If we try to engineer outcomes, if we overturn tradition to make everyone the same, we ruin society. If we upset tradition to allow for an equal shot at the starting gate, everyone wins, except for the charlatans and would be dictators.

Allow Charlatans Dictators Engineer
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Every soul deserves a shot at a Cadillac, but not everyone should be guaranteed a Cadillac.

Cadillac Deserves Every Everyone
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Now, although my life is still pleasant, the days of easy money are over.

Although Days Easy Life
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Yes, Americans can still get credit for cars and trucks and refrigerators, and those businesses are doing well. But just try to get a home loan now.

American Businesses Car Credit
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The banks are not lending, at least from what I see. They were so wild and reckless back in the good times that they got burned terribly.

Back Banks Burned Good
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Americans are terrified because so many of them have been laid off in recent years and months and they fear that they may be next. Even if they have not been laid off or have not known anyone laid off, they definitely know someone who has lost his home.

American Anyone Because Been
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We in the media are just people with all of people's faults.
Faults Just Media People
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So, who in the media is without sin among us? I am in the media and I am a major league sinner. I don't know anyone except my wife who isn't a big time sinner.

Am Among Anyone Big
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Greed is a basic part of animal nature. Being against it is like being against breathing or eating. It means nothing.

Against Animal Basic Being
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It means zero to be against greed

Against Greed Means Zero
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I agree that there are some bad apples on Wall Street. I spent about ten years exposing corporate and financial fraud for 'Barron's' magazine and I found a lot to write about.

About Agree Apples Bad
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If you want to fight the evil you see in finance and industry, get to work reading the corporate filings, see if there has been fraud, and where you find it, report it to the SEC or write about it or blog about it.

About Been Blog Corporate
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If there are finer beings than German short hairs, I don't know what they are. In their eyes is peace.

Beings Eyes Finer German
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The America that we knew as the smartest place on the planet is gone with the wind.

America Gone GoneWithTheWind Knew
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After all the black man has been through in this world, he can still often reach levels of spirituality the most pampered white man cannot touch. Maybe what he's been through is the reason why.

After Been Black Cannot
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Men and women succeed because they find a field of endeavor that matches their interests and abilities.

Ability Because Endeavor Field
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I don't believe the most successful people are the ones who got the best grades, got into the best schools, or made the most money.
Believe Best Got Grades
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The people who did the collateralized mortgage obligations, sold them to pension funds, then sold them short, then bought credit default swap insurance on them, are just amazing. They are a law unto themselves.

Amazing Bought Credit Default
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