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5960 Actor Quotes

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Even Get Just Over
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I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

Been Depressed Enemies Enough
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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
Ancient Ancient Because Both
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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

Due Had Lincoln Look
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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer

Baby Come Congress Country
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We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Able Business Check Crime
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There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

Day Just Open Ought
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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Find Half Life Our
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If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep

Any Creek Get Government
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You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

Any Creek Get Government
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In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

Could Evidently Full Hollywood
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America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
America Gets Getting Inventions
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.

Calling Ever Getting Hanged
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Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.

Because Confusing Die Fun
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Choice Itself Make You
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Exactly Like Sex Some
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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Cure Get Insomnia
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Another Dollar Gone Living
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Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Fields Here Lies Living
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Everyone Free Hate
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with

Day Every Get Off
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Betting Horse Keeps People
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I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Also Bottle Case Handy
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

Man Money Nothing Poor
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Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Against Always Anybody Hell
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

About Again Being Damn
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Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Elephants Look Own Want
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Cook Even Food Sometimes
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Both Favorable Head Pocket
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Decency Drink Drove Even
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Also Always Case Handy
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I like children - fried.
Children Fried Like
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I drink therefore I am.

Drink Therefore
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I never met a kid I liked.

Kid Liked Met Never
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Allow His Keep Money
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Closed Last Philadelphia Week
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Cork Lunch Out Some
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Animals Anyone Bad Children
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

Actor Actress Devil Great
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming

Afraid Become Drink Never
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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

Drink Never Stuff Water
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It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

Courtesy Drink Drove Had
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Do you know why Albert Camus was so prolific? He wrote to keep from screaming.

Camus Prolific Sceaming Keep
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Castle Face Records, run by The Oh Sees main man, Johnny Dwyer is always worth checking in with.

Records Worth Main Run
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Canadians are often a friendly bunch.

Friend Often Bunch Canadians
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We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don't. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success.

Learn Rejection Acceptance Life
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As a teen, I heard the second Velvet Underground album, 'White Light/White Heat,' and it was too much for my limited scope of appreciation. It was intense, but I didn't get it.

Limited Appreciation Intensed Scope
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It's one thing to buy a copy of 'Atlas Shrugged.' You actually have to read it to get anything out of it.

Actually Copy Shrugged Read
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Mr. Christ, I read you as an infinitely patient entity who, as they say, often works in mysterious ways, a rebel unafraid to take the tougher, less traveled paths. Seems to me you're playing the long game. Is that why more states are coming out in favor of marriage equality? Is that why the Affordable Care Act is now with us?

Equlity Favor Marriage Act
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I am an employment hyena. I am happy to make a meal of what the lions leave behind.

Lion Behind Leave Employment
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