If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

W. C. Fields

Brilliance Bull Them You

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation

W. C. Fields

Affairs Bull Face He

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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

W. C. Fields

Life Rest Impress Keep

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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

W. C. Fields

Choice Itself Make You

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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

W. C. Fields

Exactly Like Sex Some

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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

W. C. Fields

Cure Get Insomnia

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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

W. C. Fields

Another Dollar Gone Living

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Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

W. C. Fields

Fields Here Lies Living

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I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields

Everyone Free Hate

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with

W. C. Fields

Day Every Get Off

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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields

Betting Horse Keeps People

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I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

Also Bottle Case Handy

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

W. C. Fields

Man Money Nothing Poor

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Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

W. C. Fields

Against Always Anybody Hell

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

W. C. Fields

About Again Being Damn

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Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

W. C. Fields

Elephants Look Own Want

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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

Cook Even Food Sometimes

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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

W. C. Fields

Both Favorable Head Pocket

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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

W. C. Fields

Decency Drink Drove Even

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

Also Always Case Handy

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W. C. Fields

Children Fried Like

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I drink therefore I am.

W. C. Fields

Drink Therefore

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I never met a kid I liked.

W. C. Fields

Kid Liked Met Never

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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

W. C. Fields

Allow His Keep Money

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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

W. C. Fields

Closed Last Philadelphia Week

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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

W. C. Fields

Cork Lunch Out Some

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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

W. C. Fields

Animals Anyone Bad Children

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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

W. C. Fields

Actor Actress Devil Great

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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming

W. C. Fields

Afraid Become Drink Never

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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

W. C. Fields

Drink Never Stuff Water

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It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

W. C. Fields

Courtesy Drink Drove Had

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"31 W. C. Fields Quotes & Sayings

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation

W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

W. C. Fields

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

W. C. Fields

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

W. C. Fields

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with

W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

W. C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

W. C. Fields

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am.

W. C. Fields

I never met a kid I liked.

W. C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

W. C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

W. C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

W. C. Fields

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming

W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

W. C. Fields

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields Quotes & Sayings

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