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50 Larry David Quotes & Sayings
"
50 Larry David Quotes & Sayings
American
/
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Born: 2 July 1947 |
Comedian
|
Writer
|
Actor
|
Film director
|
Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
Larry David
Chocolate
Eat
Fight
Fighting
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Larry David
Also
Certain
Funny
Jews
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
Humiliating
Involve
Man
Most
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
Larry David
Emerged
Eventually
Kept
Me
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
Larry David
Anyone
Bald
Confident
Diamond
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At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
Larry David
Character
Doing
First
Gonna
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Larry David
Back
Crazy
Drives
Even
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Larry David
Every
Just
Precarious
Relationship
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I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
Larry David
Army
Because
Bush
End
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
Larry David
About
Anyone
Emotional
Even
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Larry David
Audience
Energy
Feed
Just
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Larry David
After
Just
Laughs
Really
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
Larry David
Become
Comedy
Doing
Had
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
Future
Good
Had
Homeless
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I'm a walking, talking enigma.
Larry David
Enigma
A
Talking
Walking
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I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.
Larry David
At Least One
Continue
Empty
Ensure
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If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
Larry David
About
Becomes
Feeling
Funny
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
Larry David
Comedy
Coming
Hear
Kind
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Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
Larry David
Glad
Improvised
Most
Scene
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
Larry David
Being
Glamorous
Had
Look
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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
Anymore
Change
I Can
Only
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
Bleak
Days
Doing
Some
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Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
Larry David
Happy
Know
Only
Really
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
Larry David
Around
Good
Homeless
Living
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Larry David
Complete
Complete Freedom
Concerned
Freedom
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
Bald
Love
Man
Women
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You write about what you know.
Larry David
About
Know
Write
You
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It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
Larry David
Began
Country
Dawn
Home
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There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
Larry David
After
Been
Better
Day
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There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
Larry David
Emphasis
Generally
Jokes
Life
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Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
Able
Bad
Birds
Deaf
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It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.
Larry David
Affectionate
Around
Day
Every
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I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
Larry David
Am
Comedian
Could
Feel
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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
Larry David
About
Audience
Energy
Feed
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Larry David
Committed
Couple
Doing
First
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Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
Larry David
Gets
Headline
Man
Married
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
Larry David
Albeit
Decent
Done
Inadvertently
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I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
Larry David
Being
Comedian
Great
Interested
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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
Larry David
First
Fish
Learned
Night
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I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.
Larry David
Cab
Drove
Had
Job
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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
About
Actually
Around
Casual
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I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.'
Larry David
Come
Go
House
Know
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When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street - things like that.
Larry David
Being
Cross
Dealing
Get
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
Larry David
Anonymous
Was
As
Quite
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I can't stand reading anything that I've said.
Larry David
Anything
Reading
Said
Stand
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Larry David
After
Divorce
Home
Lights
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David
About
Could
Course
Going
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The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.
Larry David
American
Food
Hot
Like
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I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'
Larry David
Am
Any
Anyone
Been
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I have reservations about everything I do.
Larry David
About
Have
Everything
Reservations
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Larry David Quotes & Sayings