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" Quotes and Sayings About me

A slight daily unconscious luxury is hardly ever wanting to the dwellers in civilization; like the gentle air of a genial climate, it is a perpetual minute enjoyment.

Slight Gentle Luxury Air
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Men who do not make advances to women are apt to become victims to women who make advances to them.

Victims Women Advances Become
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Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

Given Law Little Much
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In America they really do mythologise people when they die.

America Die People Really
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Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

Apartment Canada Great Like
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I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time.
Dogs Good Good Time Had
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Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money.

Make Money Movie Sometimes
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In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.

Comedy Deeply Doing Find
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Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.

Cathartic Comedy Deal Personal
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From the point of view of being in the public radar, comedians have less problems than other actors. Action movie stars like Stallone or Schwarzenegger usually attract the more aggressive fans.

Action Action Movie Actor Aggressive
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It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work.

About Am Article Bad
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Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier.
Between Does Easier Honor
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Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah.

Am Does Get Hard
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Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn't turn out very well - you go, 'Why did you do that?' But in the end, I can't regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it.

Always Amazing Amazing People Because
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The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on.

Dread Early Essential Find
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With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people.

Before Character Done Either
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I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken.

About Becomes Chris Dead
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I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.

Amazing Around Believe Even
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I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done.

Awe Because Benefit Done
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Drink Gave Had Last
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

Being Everyone Hates He
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

Could Guys Hear Laughing
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

Brown Dentist Going He
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Best Birthday Ever Get
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Broke Fight Game Hockey
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

Acting Actor Acts Deals
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

Cheats Good Good-Looking Goodness
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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

Become Courage Grow Grow Up
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Private property began the instant somebody had a mind of his own.

Began Had His Instant
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At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.

Children Clocks Fathers Indians
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To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Any Battle Being Best
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Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense.

Any Else Love Makes
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

Always Day Did Eye
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Come Day Girl Home
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If a poet is anybody, he is somebody to whom things made matter very little - somebody who is obsessed by Making.

Anybody He Little Made
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Being Draw Men Most
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

Bartender Beat God He
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Cat Covering Kept Me
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

About Bee Birds Butcher
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I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Became Horrible Insane Intervals
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Because Call Dog Egypt
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

Asked Birth Birth Control Boy
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Halloween Kids Like Looking
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My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

Afraid Dark Light Me
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Coming Coming Home Door Home
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Chair Dying Electric He
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Fed Friend Liked Me
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The rudiment of verse may, possibly, be found in the spondee.

Found May Possibly Verse
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The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true.

Bent Come Content Dreams
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I need scarcely observe that a poem deserves its title only inasmuch as it excites, by elevating the soul. The value of the poem is in the ratio of this elevating excitement.

Deserves Excitement Excites Need
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