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" Quotes and Sayings About oo

I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time.
Dogs Good Good Time Had
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In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.

Comedy Deeply Doing Find
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I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.

Driven High High School Loved
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Drink Gave Had Last
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

Could Guys Hear Laughing
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
Dogs Family Found Looked
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Age Fact Food Had
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

Cheats Good Good-Looking Goodness
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Apart Dinner Doing Everything
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At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.

Children Clocks Fathers Indians
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Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation how it shall be spent.

Deliberation How Idle Life
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A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long.

Autumn Away Blown I Think
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Listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go.

Door Go Good Hell
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Fat Found Hang Look
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

Calendar Day Getting Jealousy
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Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Before Dared Darkness Deep
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Because Call Dog Egypt
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The reason that there are so few good books written is that so few people who write know anything.

Write Reason Good Books
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Halloween Kids Like Looking
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Coming Coming Home Door Home
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Between falsehood and useless truth there is little difference. As gold which he cannot spend will make no man rich, so knowledge which cannot apply will make no man wise.

Apply Between Cannot Difference
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I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

Call Faith Fools Friends
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It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.

Dream Existence Fancy Future
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Man's real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so.

Because Chiefly Ever Expecting
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Father Finger He I Remember
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Every man is rich or poor according to the proportion between his desires and his enjoyments.

According Between Desires Every
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

Another Came Cement Felt
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

Chocolate Cook Got Made
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Lord, help my poor soul.

Help Lord Poor Soul
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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

Away Children Extinction Fought
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A people free to choose will always choose peace.

Always Choose Free Peace
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Books like friends, should be few and well-chosen.

Books Few Friends Like
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It is more from carelessness about truth than from intentionally lying that there is so much falsehood in the world.
About Carelessness Falsehood Intentionally
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No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company.

Being Better Chance Commonly
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There are goods so opposed that we cannot seize both, but, by too much prudence, may pass between them at too great a distance to reach either.

Between Both Cannot Distance
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When I find myself in the company of scientists, I feel like a shabby curate who has strayed by mistake into a room full of dukes.

Mistake Room Company Feel
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What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish.

Food Art Consumed Dish
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A man ought to read just as inclination leads him, for what he reads as a task will do him little good.

Good He Him Inclination
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The greatest part of a writer's time is spent in reading in order to write. A man will turn over half a library to make a book.

Book Greatest Half Library
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Any time you get two people in a room who disagree about anything, the time of day, there is a scene to be written. That's what I look for.

About Any Anything Day
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It's important to remember that, first and foremost, if not only, this is entertainment. 'The West Wing' isn't meant to be good for you.

Entertainment First Foremost Good
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Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.

Borrow Good Great Other
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Trying to guess what the (mass) audience wants and then trying to satisfy that is usually a bad recipe for getting something good.

Audience Bad Getting Good
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I feel very adventurous. There are so many doors to be opened, and I'm not afraid to look behind them.

Adventurous Afraid Behind Doors
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I love writing but hate starting. The page is awfully white, and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time, but those days are over, giftless. I'm not your agent, and I'm not your mommy; I'm a white piece of paper. You wanna dance with me?' and I really, really don't. I'll go peaceable-like.

Agent Dance Days Fooled
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My parents took me to see plays, starting from when I was very little. Oftentimes, I was too young to understand. I don't know what my parents were thinking - 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf' when I was eight years old, that kind of thing. So lots of times, I didn't understand what was going on, but I just loved the sound of dialogue.

Afraid Dialogue Eight Going
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My mother says I didn't open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was hooked.

After Born Days Did
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The properties of people and the properties of character have almost nothing to do with each other. They really don't. I know it seems like they do because we look alike, but people don't speak in dialogue. Their lives don't unfold in a series of scenes that form a narrative arc.

Alike Almost Almost Nothing Arc
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I've got plenty of quirks. I go to an office early in the morning. Early in the morning is really good writing time. I take anywhere between six to eight showers a day. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not a germaphobe: it's all about a fresh start.

About Anywhere Between Day
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I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.
Am Being Committed I Am
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