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" Quotes and Sayings About i

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.

Bad Been Like Many
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I've never been able to say I've been influenced by a list of artists I like because I like thousands and thousands and I've been influenced in some way by all of them.

Able Artists Because Been
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I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.

Best Ever Now Right
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.

Bad Comedians Death Dried
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In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be real. I like to get wild, behaviorally wild, and it's crazy to think of any form where it's just one way.

Actor Any Be Real Could
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Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period.

Began Early Few Funny
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It's a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways so I've never had any trouble identifying with the character that I'm playing.

Alike Any Character Had
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I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

Alternative Becoming Being Comedians
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I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.

Books Coming Early Ghost
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I'm not familiar with the metric system.
Familiar Metric System
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I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.

Anything Butter Fact Few
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I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.

Beat Had Inside Me
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My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

About Available Base Because
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I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.
Down Had Humanity Reaction
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Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.

Anybody Fight Girlfriend Love
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We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

Alive Eaten Evil Here
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Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And what is a younger woman? I mean, I'm pretty old. Almost everyone is younger.

Almost Almost Everyone Everyone Me
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Based on my own experience, when you're going through adolescence you don't know how the world works. You can't set a story in the world you live in because you don't know what a utility bill is, or how to budget your paycheck.

Adolescence Based Because Bill
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Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue most of my life.

Been Going Here Life
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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

Am Aware Body Exactly
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With acting, you see some of the kids are literally just off the street, untrained, and they are great. And others are off the street, untrained, and kind of horrible.

Acting Great Horrible Just
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Just let the wardrobe do the acting.
Acting Just Wardrobe Let
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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
Always Branch Comedian Going
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There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

Girlfriend Lie Life Only
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All the truly great stand-ups say, 'I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work.' To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.

Doing End Go Great
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We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money.

Against Fast Going Money
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With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

Fat Jack Jack Nicholson Nicholson
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The blues and jazz will live forever... So will the Delta and the Big Easy.
Big Blues Delta Easy
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Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, 'This is where I wanna be.'

Back Before Comedians Doing
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Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.

Bad Been Certain Develop
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To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.

Asked Complain Get Like
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When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award.

Award Earned Every High
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There's nothing wrong with doing comedies, and I'm not against comedies, either, but I always want to do stuff that keeps me off my guard and gets me out of my comfort zone.

Against Always Comedies Comfort
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What's beautiful is all that counts, pal. That's all that counts.
Beautiful Counts Pal That
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There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television.

Believe Get Know On-Screen
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I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting.

Affect Balance Because Continue
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In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

Back Class Half Last
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Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.

Am Artistic Creative Groupies
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A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear.

Approach Bomb Fear Got
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.

Amazing Being Ended Film
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In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails.

Been Industry Ladder Nails
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Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.

Choosing Deeper Dudes End
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If you get an impulse in a scene, no matter how wrong it seems, follow the impulse. It might be something and if it ain't - take two!

Follow Get How Impulse
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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.

Audience Based Different Even
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It's not like I'm starved for company - I have a few very good lady friends - but there's only a certain amount of times a woman wants to see you and never go out for dinner.

Amount Certain Company Dinner
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I would never complain about my life, even though I really would like to have a mate.

About Complain Even Life
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I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing.

Always New Onstage Out
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My motto is: more good times.
Good Good Times More Motto
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I can't hit on women in public any more. I didn't decide this; it just doesn't feel right at my age.

Age Any Decide Feel
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There were points in my life where I felt oddly irresistible to women. I'm not in that state now and that makes me sad.

Felt Irresistible Life Makes
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