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"40 Andy Rooney Quotes & Sayings

      American     /     View profile
Born: 14 January 1919. Died: 4 November 2011 | Radio personality | Television personality |

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always Words Soft Sweet
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If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.
If When Smile Alone
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

Learned Opportunities Lost Someone
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Learned Life Paper Closer
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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Learned Habour Bitterness Happiness
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

Christian Goodness Idea Behaviour
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

I Retiring Writers Never
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

People Accept Facts Truth
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death Distant Rumor Young
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Everyone Live Mountain Top
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It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Idea Living Long Appeals
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Learned Serious Life Everyone
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The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Best Classroom World Elderly
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.

Willing Accept Religion Believe
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers Easier Things Need
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea.

Advice Wait Struck Idea
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

Learned Under Everyone Shell
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Being kind is more important than being right.

Kind More Important Right
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.

Writers Job Tell Truth
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I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.

Can't Choose Feel Do about
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Learned No one Perfect Until
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

Learned One Person Made
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others

Age Nothing Experience Others
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

Learned You Never No
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

We Need People Do things
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Learned Love Time Heals
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

Learned Easiest Grow Person
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

Happiness Depend Good Live
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.

Ugly Popular Year Feeling
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Art By-product Honest Successful
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People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.

People Old Feel True
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.

Looking Finding Certainly Frustrating
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.

One Sweetest Things Life
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.

Most Interested Rich Don't
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.

Obviously Great Human Need
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.

Great Virtue Alone Mind
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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.

Teacher Knows Most Subject
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.

Economist Locked Admit Know
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.

Don't Advice How Cook
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.

Learned When You're Love
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Andy Rooney Quotes & Sayings