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" Quotes and Sayings About me

Men go to the theatre to forget; women, to remember.

Men Theartre Women Remember
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I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.

Many married Men Happily Fall down
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Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

Politics Diversion Trivial men Important
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations

Always Around Brought Happiness
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.

Trusted Greater compliment Loved
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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

Bad Experience Good Good Judgment
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Come, then, affliction, if my Father wills, and be my frowning friend. A friend that frowns is better than a smiling enemy.

Afflliction Father wills Friend Frowns
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If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.

Logical Men Place Ride
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The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

American Best Every Form
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Doing the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His plans.

God Leaves Disputing
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Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.

Art Entertainment Married Moral
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It is by loving and not by being loved that one can come nearest to the soul of another.

Loving Being Nearest soul
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You sell a screenplay like you sell a car. If someone drives it off a cliff, that's it.

Car Cliff Drives Like
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One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Bad Happiness Keys Memory
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As you grow ready for it, somewhere or other you will find what is needful for you in a book.
Grow Somewhere Find Needful
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People must believe what they can, and those who believe more must not be hard upon those who believe less. I doubt if you would have believed it all yourself if you hadn't seen some of it.

People Believe Hard Seen
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If we will but let our God and Father work His will with us, there can be no limit to His enlargement of our existence

God Father work Limit Enlargement
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As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls.

Balls Embarrassing Find Meeting
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I believe you are your work. Don't trade the stuff of your life, time, for nothing more than dollars. That's a rotten bargain.

Bargain Believe Dollars I Believe
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Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.

Entertainment Moral Passion Propaganda
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Our life is no dream; but it ought to become one, and perhaps will.

Life Dream
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Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women.

Because Between Define Lesbian
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And her life will perhaps be the richer, for holding now within it the memory of what came, but could not stay

Life Richer Holding Memory
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Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.

Creativity Hope Instincts More
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Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough.

Because Bet End Enough
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Doubt may be a poor encouragement to do anything, but it is a bad reason for doing nothing.

Doubt Poor Encouragement Reason
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Humor comes from self-confidence.

Humor Self-Confidence
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A Baby Sermon- The lighting and thunder, they go and they come: But the stars and the stillness are always at home

Lighting Thunder Stars Stillness
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My prayers, my God, flow from what I am not; I think thy answers make me what I am.

Prayer S God Think
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I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can

Age Believe Fast Function
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Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Find I Can Lead Me
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I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

Cosmetic Doctor Full Going
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Cult Dogs IWonder Members
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

Before Fallen Few Husband
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Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there.

Ask Grow Literature Live
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I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

Am Bull Comic Dragons
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Better Bought Ear Experienced
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You don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case.

Case Go Going Lead
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Eighteen Feeling Get God
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I've been to too many Dead concerts. There've been smokin' holes where my memory used to be.

Been Concerts Dead Holes
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Attract Car Interior Men
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.

Any Certain Certain Point More
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Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Ask Children First Guy
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I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Ears Gracefully Grow Meet
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Me and Norman Mailer have talked about how hard it is in America to get better. Especially at writing.

About America Better Get
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

About Aerobic Call Came
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Better Bought Ear Experienced
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Always Better Dresses Fire
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The fundamentalists have taken the fun out of the mental.
Fun Fundamentalists Mental Out
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Anything Children Even Feels
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