Menu

 Authors
A B C D E F
G H I J K L
M N O P Q R
S T U V W S
Y Z
Get Socialize
My Account
Make Free Wallpaper

"30 Tim Allen Quotes & Sayings

      American     /     View profile
Born: 13 June 1953 | Actor | Comedian |

Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.

Being wealthy No one Else is Party
  Favorite Make wallpaper

My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

Death Remind me Earthquakes Shake
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.

Live Isolated existence In relationship My family
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end'. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Never comment Woman's Rear end Large
  Favorite Make wallpaper

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.

The ego Kid Basement Best
  Favorite Make wallpaper
Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Men Do things Women Don't want
  Favorite Make wallpaper

When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.

Somebody Tells you Very smart Saying exactly
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men Are liars Algebra liar Good lies
  Favorite Make wallpaper

The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

World's mean Place Unfair Hateful
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

Understand Socialism Democracy Combine
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.

You work Animals More humanity
  Favorite Make wallpaper

You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.

What people Really like Under Stress
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.

Sad Adults Be children Who want
  Favorite Make wallpaper

My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.

My comedy Not mine Gift Smart
  Favorite Make wallpaper
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
Go around Once Muscle car You can
  Favorite Make wallpaper

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.

Tell you History depends Your point
  Favorite Make wallpaper

All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.

All men Think Alone Real man
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.

Kids Learn Example Respect mom
  Favorite Make wallpaper
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
Greater feeling Groom turns See His bride
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.

Very Bad student Great leaner
  Favorite Make wallpaper

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.

Broke Can probably Fix it
  Favorite Make wallpaper

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

Man's attention Stand Front Don't move
  Favorite Make wallpaper

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Guy knows In love Loses interest His car
  Favorite Make wallpaper

If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

Don't decide You're going Life.for you
  Favorite Make wallpaper

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.

Irrational fear Go back Losing My father
  Favorite Make wallpaper

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

For years Like This idea God
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

Women Have choices Married Job
  Favorite Make wallpaper

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

Marriage Compromise Nurtures Relationship
  Favorite Make wallpaper
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Women Like cars Ferrari End up
  Favorite Make wallpaper

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Only reason Men Alive Lawn care
  Favorite Make wallpaper

Tim Allen Quotes & Sayings