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"Henny Youngman Quotes & Sayings

English / View profile

Born: 16 March 1906. Died: 24 February 1998 | Comedian | Musician |

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

Drinking I Evils Read

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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Henny Youngman

Something tonight Sorry Tomorrow Morning

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If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Henny Youngman

Kick Person Pants Responsible

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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

Henny Youngman

Self-taught Man Usually Poor

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This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

Henny Youngman

School His dog Separated Dog

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You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Henny Youngman

Buy Love Pay Heavily.

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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman

Doctor Broke Two places Quit

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Henny Youngman Quotes & Sayings